A Beautiful kind of Ugly

I awoke this morning eager to run with the Lord. It was a beautiful sunrise, and all was calm outdoor, so I planned to run fast, and hard, and long but ten minutes down this unfamiliar dirt road I was stopped by the presence of God's beauty. There past a little clearing in the wood, was the lake. Beautiful, calm and captivating. The rays of sun lay on top of the still water, bringing forth steam that slowly rose up. Lily pads and cat tails dotted the shore line; God was romancing me. I sat for quite some time just resting, breathing and watching. Then I talked to Him. Random thoughts and requests and gratitude fell from my lips. "Daddy I love you. God where are You leading me? Lord please help them. Jesus keep me focused." I love spending time with Him; He makes me smile. When I realized that I was going to be late for the flagpole meeting if I didn't head back, I got up, put my headphones back on and began to run the road. As I ran the sun shone directly on my face, and it drew me forward. But then I looked back, to see where I came from and it was nice, but not as nice as the sun that was ahead of me. I kept moving forward. This whole summer God has been doing one thing after the other, and it has been so good. But each week He says, "keep coming, keep walking forward; I've got more for you." I never know what the Lord has set in plan for me, or what new and exciting, or hard and trying thing He has next. I should be afraid because I feel like I'm walking down the street blindfolded, yet I am comforted because my Savior is holding my hand and guiding me down the street saying, "Just take my hand and trust in me. You will be just fine."

After realizing this, I saw a huge spider web and a huge ugly spider beside it. The web was beautiful, like a piece of artwork, with the morning dew speckled along its pattern. However that spider was creepy and ugly. Then I thought of how God sends me butterflies sometimes and I wished to see one. Not a moth though... eww I hate moths, they are so ugly and gross. They may fly and have wings, but butterflies were better by far. Then the Creator said, "Aisha, why do you like the web, but not the spider? And why do you like the butterfly but not the moth? Did I not create those too, just as I created that beautiful lake you just sat in front of?" I was guilty. I favored the beautiful and shunned the ugly.

Do I do that with people? Do I ever spend more time loving and enjoying beautiful people, or those easy to love and enjoy? I think I tend to inch myself away from the difficult ones sometimes, and that's not right or fair...because God created those ones too. He takes all things we deem ugly and makes them beautiful. In Him they are not the scary kind of ugly, or the creepy kind, they are the beautiful kind of ugly. He created those ones too.

Heaven's Battle Cry!

OK so I know I say this word 'amazing' a lot, but I can't help but describe this past week as none other than AMAZING! This week at Riverside camp I worked with Sr. High teenagers and they have absolutely blown my mind...or I should say God and what He has done in their lives has blown my mind. Each evening we had a campfire, or a 'flashlight fire' if the rain held us in, and it was called Elijah's fire. During these times we sang worship songs, prayed and shared testimonies. The teens poured out their lives and gave up much to Jesus. Each night more and more confessed of things they had been struggling with and then 'threw it in the fire', accepting new life in Christ and healing. This week had no theme, but it seemed as if God chose the theme: Healing '08, as our speaker Robbie had described it. There was so much healing of mind, heart and body, as 14-17 year old kids stood up and said no longer would they listen to the lies of the enemy. These kids are so ahead of many adults. They loved each other with everything in them, displaying community and family. Only here in the arms of God could a group of people, many strangers, come together in 6 days and love in such an undignified, undone, and free way! Their love, their faith and their stands for Jesus screamed so loud in the face of the devil, saying: "Do you hear us? We will not back down! This is our battle cry!" Tonight as I was listening to some Bethany Dillon, the words in 'A Voice Calling Out" said it all. The lyrics completely describe this week:

"A Voice Calling Out"

I hear a voice calling out
I hear a voice in this wilderness
Where darkness has reigned for so long
Ground is being taken

The trumpet sounds
And Your glory touches the ground
And we all stand in awe
Who is this?
This glory far beyond us
I hear a voice

I hear a drum beating
heaven's drawing near
The sky will open
Your people are being healed
I hear a voice

[chorus:]
Heaven's battle cry
Rise
See the sun light what was hidden
Heaven's heart beat
See is moving
What was a whisper is now
A voice calling out

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
Running to the battlefield
And losing their lives

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
As a band of worshipers run to the battlefield
They're finding their lives
I hear a voice

So good huh? That has been our week. Tomorrow they wake up in the world, and the battle is still on. Sound the alarm, guard your hearts and continue to fight the good fight and press on!

Her Best Week

"This has been the best week of my entire life"--These were the sincere words written on the back of a picture one of my campers drew for me this week. When I read those words I wanted to be alone down the hall, press my back against the wall, slide down to the ground and cry. My heart was breaking. Who am I Lord that You should choose me to be a part of some one's 'best week'? In that moment I felt so unworthy, yet so very, very blessed. This girl was twelve years old and she was a new believer, but I could see in her that want to grow deeper, to push past surface Christianity. However, there was something holding her back: fear. Fear does it to us all, huh? It holds us back from that dive; from letting go and fighting for what we want or know is right. Her family is in complete chaos right now, and this little girl looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I can't do it; I'm too scared. It's just too hard." Her parents were split up, and neither supported her in her faith or believed in God. Her sister, only 14, has been running away from home, smoking and suicidal. Her 15 year old cousin is pregnant by a man in his 20s. Another of her cousins recently raped by a family member and her grandfather passed away.

FEAR.

She ran to me, wrapped her arms around me, and held on as she cried... what in the world do I say? What do I do? God please...I need You. We sat and talked. I looked her in the eyes and told her that she WILL get through this, and that we have no idea what the future looks like but that Christ promises He will be there every step of the way. Yet all she could say was still, "It's so hard to be a Christian alone." I wanted to make everything better for her. I wished in that moment I could say go home and everything would be better, but I couldn't. I wanted to make things easy for her, so that she wouldn't cry, so that she wouldn't hurt. Then I remembered the Scripture verse that I clung to when I felt all alone and things were so hard: Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I told her that NO MATTER WHAT; no matter how hard, how scary, how alone, how painful things are, we CAN do all things with the power that Jesus gives us. Our God is a God of possibilities.
After much time of talking and prayer, we took a deep breath and she went back to her room... and I cried. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg Christ to work a miracle in her family. I wanted to plead and plead and plead until her Daddy gave in and believed. I felt like the only way she would make it was if God changed her family now. Jon, one of my new and very dear friends, came and sat with me and prayed for me. As I tried to clear my mind aloud with him, I realized that just as I told this girl to trust in Christ, I had to trust in Him as well, that He would take care of her. While praying for her family's salvation is good, I was praying for their salvation because in that moment I believed that was the only thing that would help this little girl. Our salvation does not depend upon the salvation of someone else! All we need is Christ, and if we hang on to him, we will make it. End of story. She is gone home now, back into the same world...but now with a new strength; a new hope. I may never see her again, but I trust in Jesus that she will make it; she WILL be okay.